Du sms chez No*kia
Par albert le lundi 12 novembre 2007, 14:38 - sensibleries - Lien permanent
Tût-tût et brrrr, de concert.
14:26, je reçois un message sur mon N*okia. Toujours une légère monté d'adrénaline me prend à cet instant, alors que je suis travaillant. Elle pique le sang, le bout des doigts, et me raccourci le souffle. Ce signal me rappelle des échanges sms-esques au goût amer, ceux qui arrivent en pleine nuit, en plein travail, au moment inattendu, et qui règlent des comptent, qui ponctuent la suspicion installée dans un couple installé et qui s'en va à vaut-l'eau.
Que j'ai détesté ces échanges ! Comme j'ai appréhendé cette tension permanente, cette domination sourde, involontairement excercée par lui, et lâchement supportée par moi. Comme ces souvenirs de lutte de pouvoir et d'influence au sein du couple me paralysent aujourd'hui, à l'heure où j'écris, à l'heure où je vis avec Z... F. aurait été l'homme de ma vie, mais lui et moi voulions la reconnaissance de l'autre et sa disponibilité, ce qui, conjuguées à d'autres facteurs, ont rendu caduque notre relation sentimentale.
Bref.
Je t'aime.
En trois mots, Z. me fait replonger en arrière, pour me projeter dans notre avenir.
Moi aussi mon petit loup, je t'aime, à ma manière.
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